Monday, February 7, 2011

They Grow Up Fast Enough

Busy few months. The agenda-
Kid's take things to school for Valentine's Day
Grandmother's Birthday
Grandparent's anniversary
My Mom's Birthday
Daughter's Birthday
Our anniversary

The only one out of these that I'm going to the only one involved in planning is my daughters birthday. She will be turning six. I told her we would plan something for her but I wasn't sure what it would be yet. She is easy to please it just has to be something different than the every day and has to have her favorite people there. My girl has her priorities in line. I love that about her. But does that narrows it down, Not a Bit! So here I am brain storming and coming up with a lot of things but real haven't an idea what we can afford yet.

Now  a party for a little girl. You have to have cake, Ice Cream, Presents, Kids, possibly an activity or a great place to play.  So far my kids have done the bowling, skating, Chucky Cheese,  kid party, pizza hut, park and a few other types. So what is left? What is new? What to do? It's going to be a long month and a half if I can't figure something out soon. That's it I'll just have to surf the Google for ideas. I find myself getting worked up over their birthdays more than they do. I don't want them to be disappointed.

Sometimes I wonder if it is us parents fault that some kids expect so much. The kid that really hasn't the same kinds as hopes as the parent. I fall into this category when it comes to my daughter. What I want for her isn't usually what she wants for herself. It's an uphill battle to keep myself reeled in.

 I'm not really thinking tea party but you get the picture.

 What about other parents? Do they have this problem? I saw lots of shows making a big deal about a book that has something Cinderella in the title. It's about hyping girls to grow up too soon and that it's the industries fault or something. Advertising Brats and things promoting sexy dolls and things. Then I got on Facebook like I always do.

What do I see? A little girl with make up on and the mom telling that she took her daughter to the salon. She let her daughter get highlights and get her nails done. Or something to that effect. Yes, because a seven year old needs to worry about what the other kids on the play ground are saying about her hair or nails.

 I knew that this woman was very much into her appearance but this girl is maybe seven. Then she says that her daughter is going to be in a pageant and she is posting these pictures on Facebook to see what people thing about the amount of makeup she put on her daughter. Now I haven't a problem with the makeup it was mostly light except for around the eyes she got a little too much in my opinion. But it was that she had her daughter posing very provocative. I was shocked. First of all her daughter is beautiful without all that stuff. Second she chose to have her daughter pose that way. Third that she posted the pictures on Facebook. Fourth that I even had this person on my Facebook account. Ok on the fourth she's married into the family but I felt sick.

It's normal for children to want to do what they see their parents do but sometimes the parent need to just say no. I don't like pageants. If they were on child like things without the big hair, makeup and other more grown up thing it would be ok with me. But they aren't. I thing that if you are going to do the makeup and making hair big it shouldn't be something to strut your child around in front of people it would be something just between you and your daughter. Something you do for fun, as practice for when they are older. So that they know how to do it without looking well… you know. That they understand it's something that is only ok outside of the house when mom deems that they are old enough or mature enough.

It's about trust. You have to trust that your daughter won't be one to strut like a peacock at an early age and get into a lot of trouble. You won't know this before the teens. You can't know where their teens will lead them. So you have to give them confidence in who they are the way they are now. The more they are confident in what is right and wrong, good and bad and who they are. How much they are loved. That they have someone at home that they can go to no matter what. That there will be consequences for their actions but there will also be someone to back them up in the case that they are wrongly accused. That is what I received from my mom and dad. I'm going to try my best that to give my children.

Wow I went in a way different direction with this blog than I usually do. I just feel passionate about letting kids be kids and couldn't just leave the subject alone. I type what is on my mind. It won't always be funny and not everyone will agree with me. I know this. So I'm not going to apologize. I'm not going to go back to edit it for my audience. This is just my opinion nothing more.
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