Saturday, January 25, 2014

Single Girl Wishes to Sappy Love Entries

 

Valentines day is coming up faster then ever. I've been looking over all the usual valentines cards and things at the stores thinking it's not February yet. However I did find something that kind of got me in the spirit of the holiday already.

Have you ever made a wish list? I'm sure you all have at one point or another. Well I came across one that I'd forgotten that I'd made. It was one that I'd made while I was single and it's not short. I'll tell you now. But it ended up reminding me of how it was then.

What I want in a man.
-He loves me
-I love him
-Believes in God
-Good with kids
-Would do anything to keep me
-Tells me I'm beautiful so that I believe it
-Willing to say sorry when he is wrong
-Inspires me to be a better person
-Wants to be with me
-Did I mention LOVES ME
-Wants me physically but knows how to give me space too
-Not embarrassed to tell me he loves me
-Easy for me to talk to
-Honest, Trustworthy
-Has morals
-Kind
-Drives me crazy in bed
-Loves me without a doubt
-Prays
-Lets me vent
-Opens up to me
-Doesn't look at other girls
-Never Cheats
-Doesn't Gamble
-Doesn't criticize me or the kids
-Not self centered
-Lets me be there for him
-Does things for me 
-Surprises me
-Wants to do home improvement stuff with me
-Never gives empty promises
-Doesn't maliciously use people
-Not afraid to say "that wont work"
-Not afraid of house work
-Answers my questions
-Takes me places with him
-Good at communicating
-Doesn't try to buy my affection
-Has a good job
-Good at keeping his job
-Good with people
-Thinks I'm sexy
-Good natured, funny
-Thinks I'm funny
-Wants to cuddle up with me
-Doesn't look disgusting
-Likes to learn new things
-Can drive, has a vehicle
-Has friends, doesn't need me to entertain him
-Has things in common with me
-I'm attracted to
-Is understanding and open
-Is manly, stronger than me, not feminine in looks
-Doesn't threaten to leave me when he is mad
-Clean, Dresses decent
-Doesn't tease me about my looks or ideas
-Will defend me if necessary
-Wants to show me off, meet his friends, his family
-Is there to be my hero

What I want for me
-Learn something
-Lose weight
-Don't settle- get exactly what I want
-Be a good friend
-Don't be afraid to step out of my bubble-Get a good paying job that can support us, that I love
-No longer depend on my parents - Be able to help them
-Get and stay organized
-Not be selfish
-Volunteer again
-Not be alone

What I want for my kids
-Get money in savings for them
-Get them into activities
-Make sure they consider school important
-Pay better attention to them 
-Give them more freedom
-Invite their friends over more often

What I dream of for our future
-I have a daytime job, I get home when the kids get home
-Able to take the kids on cool family vacations
-Live in a nice, safe, spacious home
-Don't have close neighbors
-Kids have a male role model
-I'm married to the love of my life
-We have a garage with a basket ball hoop
-Friends com to see me and my husband
-We are happy and secure

I know long winded, I may have been making a prayer list and didn't want to leave out even the most outrageous thing. Such as the Disgusting comment.  But this is what I wrote later in the same notebook.

March 2,2012

I told him that I love him. It's true. It scares me. I've only known him three days. He's everything I've ever wanted in a man x10. I didn't want to rush into these words "I love you". But how could I not? He looks at me as if I hold the world. When I'm in the same room as him I gravitate towards him. I feel comfortable telling him things and know whatever I say will be taken well. We laugh and have the same silly, sarcastic sense of humor. He just has to grin or flick his eyebrow and I smile. I could stare into his eyes forever. Those crystal eyes that seem to see my heart. For him I seem to never do wrong. Even when I'm blunt or stressing about things. 
There is no wrong way for him to hold me. He reads me and does or tells me what I need. He has broke open my shell and has me grinning and loving. He has seen my baggage and seems to be emptying it piece by piece. As for the kids, he cares about them too. I could see it right away. He accepted them good and bad. The kids in turn quickly accepted and liked him. He's not super human. He has faults like everyone else for goodness sake the guy doesn't like anything with miracal whip in it. He's a little pudgy (I figure the better to warm me with). He's quite hairy (softest and most addicting to touch) He has an eye astigmatism, (I rarely notice this past those crystal blues that gaze at me with love). He is ornery past what most should be (and yet I enjoy it and look forward to the next time he tries to drive me crazy) He's very stubborn which may get him far in a relationship with me but will also drive me crazy.
And I probably love every minute of it. With a silly grin on my face.

March 14,2012

The Lord must be guiding him. He breaks through my insecurities without me realizing until it's too late. He said it's luck. No such luck. God is in this, I just feel it. I thank God every day for him. Praying that God helps me do what is right. Show me what to do.  I don't know if I've gotten those answers but finally I'm starting to understand about love. That I can be loved despite my flaws. I adore him. He holds my heart. Lord help me if he ever breaks it.
He brought me flowers, at first glance I though he bought them for me. Then as I went to place them into vases I realized that they were daffodils from someones yard. All cut evenly gathered in a rubber band neatly inside a baggy of water. He didn't just cut and drag them to my house he put effort into making it special. I wasn't being bought. 
He told me he didn't have anything to be guilty for. I had to smile. My dislike for gifts from men because they always turned out to be guilt gifts. I can't be for sure that it's true but I badly want to believe him. He tells me every time I see him that he isn't going anywhere. That means more to me then his I love yous. I don't know why. Maybe I've heard to many fake I love yous over the years. But that he looks into my eyes and tells me that he isn't going anywhere, that he loves me. Every time.
We haven't fought, I'm scared for the day it happens or what would trigger it.
I don't know if it's the right thing but I'm not scheduling for the birth control shot. We aren't using protection. He knows and talks about kids with me. It feels natural to have children with him. He says twins run in the family. Funny thing is now I fantasize about having twins a boy and a girl. He teases about how hairy they will be.
I hate thinking, irrational doubts sneak in. I just want to allow myself to be happy.

I don't promote going without protection or birth control. It was wrong. I'm glad today that I didn't get pregnant before we were married. I just want to point out that when your in that state of love it seems that you really do stop thinking things through. This isn't one of the areas that you should stop thinking through.

Ok now I'm going to clear something else up, the daffodils were not something he picked up like I thought. They were a charity thing. The money from them went toward a charity. Which in my eyes was wonderful because he told me the truth as soon as I mentioned it. He could do no wrong as you can see. (Eye Roll)

I can kind of laugh at the sappy notes now. I did dry my eyes a few times but for the most part it was the ramblings of new love. Very fanciful and not always using common sense but still something that everyone wants and I believe needs to experience. To bad I can't just round some up and splash it in everyone's face like a bucket of cold water. It's a jolt to the senses that will either wake you up or knock you over. I just love, love. I hope your Valentines Day is full of it. ;)



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